“RIGHT, you ’orrible lot. Where have all the years gone, eh? Who’s been hiding all the years? Has it really been ten since Sheeps performed their first show? No, it has been twelve.
When last I looked Sheeps were three absolutely minuscule little boys. And now up they’ve shot up like mighty oaks. Are they men so soon? Grown-ass men with all the fixins? Christ. You cannot take your eyes off time for a second.
Now listen. Come on. The last ten years have been brilliant. Not just for Sheeps but for the world. It truly has been the decade when heaven came down to earth. So, to celebrate, Time Out’s ‘Ones To Watch’ 2009 thought it was high time they popped their candy asses back onstage and toasted three lives well spent with a ‘Best Of’ package of Sheeps skits and, to a lesser extent, sketches. Old ones? Mainly, sure. New stuff? Eeeek – hope not! But yeah no there will be. Even approx. two bits that weren’t in Edinburgh.
‘Austin Powers goes to Hogwarts’, ‘Good Cop, Bad Cop, Christmas Cop’, ‘Austin Powers goes to Hogsmeade’ – ALL of these sketches will be left out of the show. And that’s a promise.
So what do you plan to do about all this? All this information you’ve just read. Do you plan to come and watch? To see Sheeps perform some of their greatest hits (so far as any of their stuff has ever really ‘hit’)? Would you like that? Well unfortunately there is absolutely no way of doing so. Unless… Oh but it’s hardly worth saying. Well, unless… you happen to live in The World. In which case that very opportunity can be found at Soho Theatre in London – England’s most famous part – throughout ALL of January (except for the days that aren’t Tue 10th – Sat 21st)
You idiot. You thought the boys were done but they never ever seem to be, do they?
STRICTLY NO HEN DOS. PLEASE. Honestly, the way people behave at our live shows you’d think it’s Magic Mike. We’re not just three walking talking asses for you to ogle. If you look above those asses, you’ll find minds. And in front of those minds you’ll find mouths. Maybe try listening to them. You might like what they’re saying…
Sheeps continue to comprise Al Roberts (Stath Lets Flats, Starstruck, Feel Good), Liam Williams (Ladhood, Pls Like, Back to Life) and Jonno (Farters, Tennis Kings, Seinfeld). We are talking three good lads, and three proud mums.
Absolutely deranged, reading this back. Why would anybody read this and then come?”