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Soho Theatre meets... Sarah Kendall

Tue 7 March

We had a chat with Sarah Kendall ahead of her run here from Fri 10 Mar

Hi! Nice to meet you, what’s your name?
Knocks back a White Russian and smashes the glass against the wall
THAT’S NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS.

Where are you from?
Wouldn’t you like to know?
calls over the waiter Who do I have to fuck to get another White Russian? I LOVE WHITE RUSSIANS! I LOVE THEM!
If you MUST know I was born in Gibraltar but raised in Wealden. At the age of 15 I ran away to Hove to find my fortune. The rest, as they say, is history, baby.
lights a cigarillo

What brings you here?
I’m seeing Lucy Porter’s show.

Sorry, didn’t get you a drink, what would you like?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Some crisps or nuts?
NEITHER. As we used to say back when I was modelling to supplement my income as an ambulance driver: a minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips!
falls off chair giggling uncontrollably

So, what’s so special about your show?
can’t hear you because all the laughter has induced a deafening fart

How did the idea of the show come about?
I’ll tell you how: grit and determination. I decided a long time ago that nothing- NOTHING- would stop Alexis Colby from getting everything she wants. Even if I have to step on a few faces!
Wait. What show?

Do you come here often?
Don’t be ridiculous. I only venture out to this shit hole once a year, and that’s to see my favourite raconteur: Lucy Beverley Martha Rihanna Porter.

Where are you going after here…
Where won’t I be going!
goes and shits in a bin

You can catch Sarah Kendall in Shaken from Fri 10 Mar until Sat 14 Mar

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